- Chicago - 2 weeks ago took a quick trip (overnight) - Went there to learn how to teach a Time Management course I'll be teaching in late October, and yes, I know the irony of me teaching a Time Management course is very very funny. Hung out with the coworkers, who are always nice to see and oddly, flew in AND out on time from Chicago, which, is impossible to do. Quick note, next person who sits in the aisle seat who DOES NOT get up when I ask to get by gets a beat down. Look, I always take window seats for the extra millimeter of room they provide, I don't get up from my seat on any flight under 4 hours so I don't ask for much. I only ask the you GIVE ME THE SPACE TO GET BY YOU. Look, I don't like rubbing my private parts or my butt against anyone I don't know as I struggle to get past you into my seat, so just get your arse out of the seat and let me by. Yes, I'm not the thinnest person in the world, but I have lost a bunch of weight (more on that in a few bullets), so make the dang effort.
- The Perfect (Geek) Storm - This past week, I had the trifecta of geekness. First off, the iPod Touch, got it, love it, great interface, and, in a rarity for anything electronic, a joy to use. I got the 8GB model as oddly, I don't like to have too much music to choose from when I listen to my mp3s...Next up Halo 3, which, I've completed already. Great game, and if you've played the first 2, you'll like this one. Fun to play with others too and David and Ariel were my wingmen in Co-operative mode in Halo 3 this week. It's a good reason to buy the Xbox 360 for those who are considering it. I got the Legendary version of it which comes with it's own helmet, like this:
You'll note the helmet is posing next to Yoda. Yes, this my life.
Now, to finish it off, I got a new 22inch flatscreen monitor for my work desk, which, if you don't have one, I recommend going to get right now. It's by NEC and it's amazing. I can SEE again! It's making my job a 1000 times easier with all the stuff I work on the computer with.
- In other news, the Yankees are, oddly, in the playoffs, which means I'll be going to a playoff game next Sunday, it seems. Woo hoo!
- But the capper, has to be Happy Meal Todd...
Happy Meal Todd was made by Barbie in the 90's. Happy Meal Todd is cruelty in doll form.
I have taken pictures.
We shall discuss them.
Note the picture that has the overall packaging. While the package is a little battered, note how the child packaged here will obviously grow up to enjoy showtunes, and more than likely , date men.
Note the pink Barbie box.
Note that not only is it Barbie, but it is also a blessed union with McDonalds. Added bonus, HAPPY MEAL is included too.
Ponder the name: "Happy Meal Todd" and all the wrongness that implies. While endless crude jokes can be made here, I shall not digress. Oh, ok maybe for one of them: "Happy Meal Todd, I'm lovin' it!" Or "Nothing says a Happy Meal like having Todd around" Or "Happy Meal Todd...Prove it!" or "Happy Meal Todd Tastes Great Less Filling Miller". Alas, I could continue all century but the damage is done.
Note the fact that the Todd doll is packaged with his right hand up, as if to say: "Please! Take me! Take me from this hell that is my packaging."
Now, this image, which comes from the back of the box. A maze game. Note the fine text:
"Stacie, Todd and their two friends, Whitney and Janet love eating their favorite Happy Meal treats. Help them find the right path to McDonalds"
This kind of backs up my point before that Happy Meal Todd will be a happy man dating men, dressed as he is, hanging out with women...on the other hand, what if Whitney and Janet consider their favorite Happy Meal treat to be Happy Meal Todd? What would that mean? Maybe Happy Meal Todd might not date men when Happy Meal Todd grows up?
Is there a right path to McDonalds? Is the right path to McDonalds to get the heck away because they partner with Barbie to make creepy looking Happy Meal Todd toys?
Ah, onto the next picture, where you can see Ronald McDonald. It looks like Ronald McDonald wants a taste of Happy Meal Todd. Mr McDonald is eating a hamburger in the picture, but the buns he's pondering seem not to be the ones in his hands....
Moving along, we see that there is "Surprise! Jewelry for you inside!" I can only assume they mean inside of the BOX and not inside Happy Meal Todd, that would be very, very wrong. I would doubt that Happy Meal Todd has any jewels to speak of based on the way he looks. I wonder if this jewelry concept was the impetus for anyone to purchase Happy Meal Todd. If so, how many things have gone wrong in a child's life for this to occur? To what level has a child's life been destroyed that the concept of Surprise! Jewelry for you inside! makes one want to purchase the hideously creepy Happy Meal Todd? And, the writer of said line, was apparently, a Speak and Spell.
So, ever worrying about dressing badly? One's worst fashion day will never match Happy Meal Todd's outfit of choice, seen a bit more closer in the picture above. Yes folks, the gayest shirt ever created. On Happy Meal Todd. Topped off by a backwards cap, as if that will add to the "cool factor". For this outfit to occur, so many things would have had to go fashionly wrong it's staggering.
Finally, a closer look at the logo for Mr. Happy Meal Todd. Who, my god, has a twin named Stacie, as we learn in this picture. One can only pray that Stacie: A) Is not an identical twin B) Is wearing a burlap bag, as that would be a better fashion choice than what Happy Meal Todd is wearing C) That Stacie is not called Happy Meal Stacie, because, while this will make her the most popular girl in high school with that name, will not bode well for her in her adult years.
Now, note the lettering in Todd. As if adding the words "Happy Meal" before the name weren't devastating enough, it was decided that we should pick the, uh, least masculine colors ever for the letters T-o-d-d.
Now ponder this, this Happy Meal Todd doll had to get APPROVED by (one would think) human beings for this to get produced. Who on earth would look at this and say: "This doll is f***ing brilliant! We must make thousands of them now!" Who? Is this not proof that satan walks the earth?
So yes, that is the hell that is Happy Meal Todd.
